Overcoming Fear of the Unknown 

Is there a big change that needs to happen in your life but you’ve been avoiding it? Do you freak out over unexpected events, when you feel uncertain, or can’t have control?

I’ve seen the fear of change, of entering a new and foreign chapter of life, be the foothold for stuckness that’s held many a client of mine back for years. Until they were ready, by choice or necessity, to move past it. As a hypnotherapist and life coach who’s helped hundreds of clients address and overcome this fear, I’ve usually found the culprit to be at least one of the three following reasons.

Reason #1 - The association of change or the unknown has become negative and generalized. Thoughts of the worst possible case scenario or anxious feelings are getting projected into current opportunities and their future outcomes. I’ve mainly seen this happen because either the parent or guardian of my client modeled this behavior and so that person hasn’t had a positive, flexible and resilient role model to draw from. Or there is unresolved trauma from my client’s past. Maybe there was a time in their life where they made a big change, did something new, or took a risk and it didn’t go very well. 

Depending on how intense these feelings are for a person, some healing work may need to be done. In a hypnotherapy session, guided visualization can be used to reimprint a more positive model of behavior. It can also replace pain and fear from the memories of past events by drawing out helpful lessons and more useful meanings. This helps a client to no longer be limited in life but face change, challenge and uncertainty more resourcefully. Insurance doesn’t typically cover hypnotherapy so if that criteria for such an investment creates a barrier, I also recommend EMDR and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy to help a person clear trauma or anxiety around an issue.

Reason #2 - A person lacks resiliency skills or doesn’t have enough trust in them. To elaborate, the more a person knows they have habits and support systems in place that help them handle stress, challenges, and change, the less fear they have of each of those things. When you know how to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, even spiritually and financially, you feel more secure. With better habits comes greater resiliency and confidence. A solid finances, a healthy diet, regular exercise, meditation, journaling, or spiritual practice, and the support of loved ones or community in your life helps to build a sense of security and serenity within you. Security meaning a sense of stability and safety. Serenity meaning an acknowledgement of what’s within one’s power to control and a peace with what is not. 

When a person realizes they lack the knowledge or resources to help them navigate life each day, they are prone to fearing change and taking less risk. Their sources of comfort or their comfort zone become their sense of security and stability. It’s helpful to take an honest look at what builds or threatens your ability to be resilient. There are routines, resources, and attitudes that need to be put into place. I created a Resiliency Meditation Recording that can help with the latter.

Reason #3 - In the case of a person fearing a change in their own behavior, that person could be overly attached to a current way of meeting needs or sense of identity. Change may be seen as a threat to who they are and or getting what they need. This third reason expounds upon one’s resiliency skills but with some helpful nuance and distinction. 

I believe there are nine main driving needs for us humans and we each tend to value two of our driving needs above the rest. It’s important to know what those are for you and how you’ve been meeting them or neglecting them. It’s easy to experience dependencies, addictions, depression or dissatisfaction if you don’t. When you realize which needs you value most, you’ll better understand your behaviors, decisions, and emotional patterns. 

The more needs, or greater degree a need is met, by any one thing in your life - be it a person, career, behavior, hobby, or substance - the greater the likelihood for dependency on that thing. Meaning there is a greater chance that an addictive relationship may be developed. So it will take intentional effort to be replaced. It’s best to keep track of how you are meeting your driving needs in healthy, sustainable, balanced ways. In ways that don’t cause more consequence than benefit. 

Typically, if your mind perceives that something is meeting at least two of your needs above a five on a scale of 1-10, or if it meets at least three of your human needs, it can easily become an addiction. Having problems / challenges / stress, for instance, is perhaps the most common addiction a human can have. This is why a person may be afraid to change their behavior or solve a problem. Problems and challenges can meet all nine of our human needs to a high degree. Read more about it in my blogpost “Determining The Needs That Fulfill You The Most”

Perhaps it’s time to make a change in your life but you need help clearing negative effects from your past, or integrating new thought patterns or habits to make it easier. If you’d like help achieving a breakthrough as quickly as possible, contact me or reach out to a hypnotherapist or NLP practitioner in your local area. I not only help clients in the greater Seattle and Tacoma area of Washington state, I also work with clients through phone and video chat sessions. Virtual sessions can just as effective once we’ve had a consultation to determine if they’re a good fit for you. 

If you’re interested to see whether hypnosis can help you achieve your goals be sure to review my Hypnotherapy FAQ and have a thorough consult with a hypnotherapist like me before making a decision as to whether hypnotherapy services are best for you.