Empowering Identity Builder For Men 

 January 30, 2023

By  Kristin Rivas

What Does It Mean To Be A Leader?

Leadership entails more than just having a title, position, or confidence. Honesty, courage, intelligence, empathy, coachability, and decisiveness are essential qualities that any leader should possess. Most adults see these traits as absolutely necessary for successful leaders, no matter their gender.

Being a great, effective leader is about more than just thinking you're one. It wouldn't make sense to go around thinking and saying you're a brain surgeon because you like feeling smart. You obviously want to be competent to fulfill the duties any role requires of you. However, if you're wanting to become a brain surgeon, there may be some helpful mindsets and attitudes to take on while learning the skills you'll need.

It is important to have a balance between self-belief and self-awareness. As much as it is good to have self-confidence, you need to be aware of your limitations, flaws, and weaknesses in order to grow. And you have to be willing to learn, practice, delegate and make decisions based on that understanding. Without self awareness or humility, it will be very hard for anyone in charge to acknowledge their mistakes, learn from experience, take into account other people’s perspectives, and be willing to change and get better. An overabundance of confidence can lead to a sense of delusion and the denial of reality. Having an honest understanding of yourself will help you make better decisions and progress towards success.

Why You Should Think Of Yourself As A Leader And Invest In Becoming A Truly Effective One!

You may not always or have ever thought of yourself as a leader but there are probably people around you who are being impacted on your leadership abilities (or lack of them). Embracing this role as a part of your identity, along with cultivating leadership skillsets will serve you. It will also serve those around you who need your skills along with a caring, healthy alpha nature. 

Being a leader can also add more juice to your life! It's a natural by-product once you start fulfilling more of your driving needs. Being a capable leader is rewarding in many ways, for the good of both yourself and those around you. 

The best leaders understand the importance of coaching, mentoring, and developing those in their care. They act as true talent scouts who provide constructive feedback and guidance to help people reach their full potential. They are open to hiring people who can do better than themselves and use those opportunities to foster collaboration within their teams (or family, students, etc.). Ultimately, they create a culture of growth by setting aside ego and making sure everyone is heard.

Bringing the benefits of being a capable leader back to you... The more you're able to help other people solve their problems, the greater the likelihood you're resourceful enough to solve your own as well.

Ways You Can Become A Capable Leader...

Commit to spending at least 5 - 20 minutes a day building up the aspect of your personality you want to be a leader. You'll be cultivating an ability to take charge as a competent, confident, heartfelt, authentic, wise, and capable leader. It's best to give this part of yourself a name as well as a distinct posture and demeanor to take advantage of the power of anchoring.

You can do so in any of the following ways...

✦ First, research various leaders who inspire you. In general, look for role models who display intelligence, curiosity, empathy, integrity, and coachability. If you're preparing for specific managerial responsibilities, look for leaders in your field with expertise, track record, and relevant leadership competencies. You can get ideas for a name you would like to give the leader you're building up within you.

✦ You will be able to understand what it feels like to be strong, capable, empowered and confident if you make sure you are in a peak state. Workout, rebound, or get your freak on and dance!

✦ While in a peak positive state as you’re rebounding, working out, or dancing — repeat positive declarations such as...

✦ “I AM ____ (name you’ve given the super alpha within you)”!






✦ Create your own declarations or make warrior sounds!

✦ After you've taken time to get into a peak state, strike a power pose. Then give this alpha leader within you a name (or warrior call). Think of his exact posture and demeanor. The kind of snapshot you'd see on the cover of a comic book, news article, magazine, or movie poster.

✦ Watch The Mask You Live In — A 2015 documentary follows boys and young men as they struggle to stay true to themselves while negotiating America’s narrow definition of masculinity. Experts in neuroscience, psychology, sociology, sports, education, and media also weigh in, offering empirical evidence of the “boy crisis” and tactics to combat it. The Mask You Live
In ultimately illustrates how we, as a society, can raise a healthier generation of boys and young men. Found on Amazon, Netflix, Vudu, Google Play, iTunes and Youtube for $2.99 and up.

✦ Watch the TED talk: The Surprising Science of Alpha Males

✦ Watch Why I’m Done Trying To Be Man Enough: Justin Baldoni TED Women 2017

✦ Check out the Men of Color Leadership Institute or Lewis Howes books, blog, and podcast at this website for examples and communities inspiring male leadership.

✦ Read Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek and watch his Ted Talks:

Simon Sinek: How Great Leaders Inspire Action | TED Talk | TED.com

Simon Sinek: Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe | TED Talk | TED.com

Empowering Leader For Men

✦ Listen to my Resiliency Meditation. This guided meditation session is designed to build your resourcefulness, so when life throws you a curveball, you'll have the tools to handle it. The more you listen, the stronger your positive attitudes and feelings will become; allowing you to draw on them whenever necessary.

✦ To develop more empathy, patience, and positive thoughts towards yourself and others, listen to my Expanding Compassion Meditation. It's a great tool to clear negative thinking, build empathy, and boost confidence. This practice has been known to reduce feelings such as anger, guilt, shame, self-consciousness and anxiety. If you’re ever in a cheeky mood and want a calming way to blow off some steam, try the following meditations which include a note extra note of humor:  F*ck That: An Honest Meditation & F*ck It And Let That $hit Go|Emotional Relief Meditation

✦ Focus on things you can do to stand up for yourself and others in ways that serve the greater good of this world and all of the people in it. Get involved with volunteer work, activism, or other roles with responsibilities to improve your competence and confidence as a leader.

✦ Read my How To Develop Empowering & Rational BeliefsAdopting New Beliefs, The New Behavior Generator Exercise, and Anchoring: The Easiest Self Improvement Tool blogposts. Each of them will give you simple, detailed, effective strategies to help you cement this identity. It won't be long before you'll be living a life a leadership as authentically and powerfully as possible!

Let me know what you think of this post. Make a comment or contact me if you have any questions you'd like me to answer. If you found this information to be helpful, go ahead and share it on social media or with a friend who could use it.

Kristin Rivas

Kristin Rivas is a certified Brain Health Coach, Hypnotherapist, and NLP practitioner who helps people to feel, think, and live better. Specializing in behavior change and goal achievement, she empowers clients to live to their full potential & foster their own wellness. A former TEDx presenter, she is also a highly sought after speaker.

Kristin Rivas

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